Realizing I'm human too...

By onehearttwokeys on Sat, 02-04-12, 09:26

Posted in Group:

Last night I had a wake up call... I'm human... Which I haven't allowed myself to believe it I guess... I've always been "the strong one"... I don't know how not to be... I kinda thought that I was magically fixed... but then last night my boyfriend drove himself to his SAA meeting... I freaked out... I assumed he was lying and he wouldn't be there. So I drove 30 mins there just to see... Freaking out the whole drive.. I got there early and he was already there... Of course I was relieved but I was so upset still... Upset that our trust is broken... and that I had to drive out there to see... and I realized... I'm human... That this will take time... So now I'm really trying to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling and to be vulnerable which is extremely hard for me... My boyfriend came outside to smoke and saw me sitting in the car crying... He's been so understanding and supportive...

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By Mak24 on Sat, 02-04-12, 17:04

At least he is supporting you. He knows and understands that your trust has been broken and that he has to take steps to fix that. Trust is so hard to gain, but so easy to throw away. I've been having trust issues with my bf and he has been angry with me because of it, but he is the one that took away my ability to trust him. I'm hoping that soon he will be understanding to why. I wish you the best of luck in your future with yours, and hope that now that you know your human you also know that you CAN'T always be the strong one. I have always felt that same need to be strong through all the trying times, but sometimes you have to let yourself breakdown for a little while so your mind can rest and you can feel other emotions!

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