I think I gave it all away... I have nothing left, but a knife and my carotid artery

By needserioushelpamy on Fri, 02-17-12, 12:00

Posted in Group:

Codependency

My boyfriend and I were together for seven years. He knows me... we know each other. okay and I have just learned (through the break up) that I am apparently ADDICTED to him, if I were to be honest. He broke up with me because he found out I had a guy friend. This guy friend is TRULY a friend, I did not tell my bf about him because he thinks I'm cheating on him if I have a friend that is a guy. (Although he had already known that I had contact with him)....

Now, I am sooo broken. I feel like I have nothing. I am filled with emptiness, regret, hopelessness.

I gave him everything, everything, my heart, my life, even my soul, (I think!?). I lost my life, my friends...

The thing that hurt the worst (weirdly) was he called me a liar, a cheat, a thief, a whore... because of who this old guy friend of mine is.

I can't stop picturing me putting a knife into my neck. I feel so so so hurt. Like I could never ever love again, if this is truly what he thinks of me after I was as good as I could possibly be to him for all these years. If I could spend seven years being the best and all I could be, giving all of myself that I could... and him truly believing that I am something that I am not....

I feel like I am going crazy!!! I need serious help, I want the knife to get out of my hand. I feel like I have nothing, and nothing to live for.

Thanks for listening and any advice or support would be GREATLY appreciated

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By kitcat1 on Fri, 02-17-12, 13:01

You were an INDEPENDENT Woman before your boyfriend and you will be one now after post breakup. If he can't understand that he was just a friend then he does not love you like you love him. Relationships are a TWO WAY Street too you know. You both have to put in equally to have a loving warm relationship. Slow it down and take one minute at a time and one day at a time. Sounds like a big misunderstanding between the both. Maybe when you both cool off talk to him and make a compromise if he will agree to come back and work on things you won't see your friend as often if that is what bothers him. Just guessing on that advice. I hope this helps.

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