how to Let go

By sumerlakis1 on Fri, 02-24-12, 16:33

Posted in Group:

Codependency

Im here in a few support groups but this Codependency issue has really got me in a bind. I lost myself completely to someone. She left with another man and it killed me literally almost. I became suicidal and was put into a clinic for 10 days over it. I lost myself completely she became everything and when she cheated on me with someone else I thought I was worth nothing. Now it has been 5 months and I still can't let go every day I fight not to call every single day is a nightmare to just get through it. I have been to some online coda meetings and have ordered some books by Beattie Codependent no more. But will the pain ever stop. Everyone around me thinks I should be over it that she wasn't worth all this pain but to me I feel empty. She like me was and alcoholic in the program of AA...she drank again and I wanted to fix her make her ok and didn't realize I lost me in the process. This is not the first time Ive dated the same person over and over. Beautiful and flighty. Every time I end up slowly losing myself and my purpose I DON"T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN this is a new site for me.

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By CK on Tue, 02-28-12, 10:10

Addicts can often transfer their addiction from one thing to another, not that I am downplaying your relationship, but it sounds like your girlfriend became your addiction. She was the thing that kept you focused, besides being your girlfriend she was also your project. The pain from this breakup will eventually dull, just as the cravings for alcohol are probably not quite so strong at this point in your recovery. I would definately recommend therapy though to help you work through your addictive tendencies and to identify the type of woman who are detrimental to your continued recovery. You have to put yourself first for awhile, work on learning who you are and what you need out of life to be successful, both personally and in a potential relationship.

Wishing you success in this journey!

-CK

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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By sumerlakis1 on Tue, 02-28-12, 11:53

Thank you CK I hear you. I am going to my groups but I also am working with therapist over the issues surrounding this so I have taken your advice. My Project that was a good one I never heard that before. Im hoping the pain will dull it's been a while and the hardest one to recover from. I hope I hear from you again.

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