Having a really hard time...

By onehearttwokeys on Wed, 02-08-12, 14:45

Posted in Group:

I'm struggling... I'm trying to make sense of everything that's been going on... I don't feel human anymore... I can't cry... That's all I want... I have this pain in my chest that wont go away... I know it is literally heart ache... I can't get out of bed for too long... I'm not really eating... I'm not really feeling... I don't feel alive... I don't feel real... I haven't been able to do anything... I'm just here... That's it... I'm so afraid... and alone... I don't want to loose him... I know I already have in some ways... I can't let go... I can't leave his side... I don't know how to be with out him... I don't know if I can... How can this be happening... This can't be real... I just want this feeling to go away... I don't want these images in my head... I don't want to hurt like this... I don't want this feeling... I want you back... I want us back... How did we get here? How did it get this far? How can we go back? I know it will never be the same... Can we save this? I never thought this could happen... I never knew I could be hurt like this... by you... How could you? I feel so alone... empty... Where do I go from here... How???

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By CK on Fri, 02-10-12, 09:44

I am so sorry that things have been going so awfully lately! Wishing you clarity in this situation. Hugs!

-CK

Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast-Alice in Wonderland

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By Jerry@recovery on Thu, 02-16-12, 20:52

May I ask a couple of questions, just to understand a bit better? Is your boyfriend continuing to attend SAA meetings? Could his revelations be in any way his sharing the process and product of working the twelve steps? What has he said specifically that clearly expresses he considers the relationship is over, and he is moving on without you? I hear your fear, anguish and grief of a dead relationship loud and clear in your thoughts and words. Please try to pretend for a moment that you are speaking with his voice; what does he see as the future, immediate or otherwise, of your relationship? Thx

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