great day.

By JessicaC on Sun, 01-22-12, 22:50

Posted in Group:

my mom has been ill, she was in the hospital yesterday and today spent all day today in bed. of course that's not the "great day" part, that's the bad part, but somehow I got this huge burst of energy and I cleaned the whole living room, getting on my hands and knees to wash the wood floors, I did dishes and mopped the kitchen... cleared the counters... worked my butt off, made real meals and spent lots of time with my kids playing and cuddling... don't know where the energy came from, but it was nice.

I don't want to sound ungrateful... it has been amzing what my family, especially my mother, has done for us... it is just difficult being 34 with two kids, having lived on my own for years and suddenly back in my childhood home with someone elses rules and not enough space... and to know we will probably be here until at least the summer... it is nice to feel some energy again, it is also nice to think of someday being on my own again too.. it is hard to rely on others... I feel like such a burden most of the time, especially since my depression has been getting the best of me and has been making it heard for me to do my share of teh housework.

my first counseling appointment is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.

Login or register to post comments
0 Support

By renee2 on Sun, 01-22-12, 23:13

wow JessicaC you did 2 days work all in one. that was great.

I just moved back home today i felt my husband a while ago because he was abusing me in everyway, doing durgs, having sex with other women and still felt he couls rule my like. i kniw it is haed to go bac home after bring away for a long time. i have one son and pregnant with another.

i am so happy my mom let me camr back after ther horrible things i said and did to her. i am glad you feel good.

good luck on your counseling tomorrow

renee

"I wont let anyone break my heart again"

Support Points: 2425

Badges

Offline

By MaluLani on Mon, 01-23-12, 00:27

Sorry about ur mom being ill-but glad u got a burst of energy, i understand how u are feeling. i appreciate what my family has done for me-but think i function more efficently/do more/more energy when im in my own place w my kids-bc i know i have to do x.y,and Z===if i get help often times i have too much time to dwell on me & my issues. So proud of u and i hope ur energy bursts continue to last =) Also hope your mom feels better/heals asp.

Someday I'll fly away.

Support Points: 10475

Badges

Offline

By JessicaC on Mon, 01-23-12, 00:53

i'll write tomorrow about my counseling... i'm excited to go... i've been holding onto a lot of stuff and have some pressing stuff to work through.

I was about to do something awesome again, but I told myself, "Enough is enough! That's plenty of awesome for one day."

"They say that marriage is about making two lives into one... nobody told me that meant we both would end up becoming HIM"

Support Points: 41485

Badges

Offline

By Suzee on Mon, 01-23-12, 08:14

I'm sorry about your Mom too and I am glad to hear about you having a burst of energy. I think we can all relate 100% to the depression holding us "down" and not functioning like we wish we could. It's something I have struggled with off and on for sure!!! I feel like a burden to my children and it really sucks, but they tell me all the time they don't feel that way at all, but it still is a source of depression for me.

I hope your Mom gets better really soon!!

Sincere hugs, Suzee

Support Points: 43455

Badges

Offline

By JessicaC on Mon, 01-23-12, 12:24

counseling was great... basic "what brings you here" type stuff... I talked to her about a lot of the work I have been doing and it was nice to hear someone with some kind of authority recognize hwo far I have come on my own... it also helped to tell my story because iver and over I start to think that I really AM blowing everything out of proportion and I really AM a drama queen and ammaking a moutain out of a molehill with what I've been through with my husband. but then I tell my story and I hear the stuff comng out of my mouth and I realize how ridiculous it all was that people should LIVE like that... and she also gave me a test that helped you score mental physical and social abuse and every single box in the mental abuse cetegory was checked... it was amaing.. it was also amazing to see how many of those things I did to myself and to him too... that I had been reacting to his abvuse of me by abusing him back and also helping him abuse me. It was interesting to see that the very definition of mental abuse includes being convinced that nothing is happening and that I'm actually the crazy unbalanced one.

We'd get into these situations where I'd just be hysterical from all pf the crazymaking behavior and then he'd just stop and look at me like he was genuinely concerned and say with complete sincerity "Jesus Jessica... you really need help... I really seriously think you need to be medicated... listen to yourself..." and he'd act liek he was concerned for his own safety ad for my own... and I would just be stunned... and confused just sitting there thinking over everything that had happened and everything that was said to see if he was right... if I realy was imagining everything.

I was about to do something awesome again, but I told myself, "Enough is enough! That's plenty of awesome for one day."

"They say that marriage is about making two lives into one... nobody told me that meant we both would end up becoming HIM"

Support Points: 41485

Badges

Offline

The information provided on SupportGroups.com is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her health professional. This information and interaction provided on this site is solely for informational and educational purposes and does not constitute the practice of medicine. Information on this site does not replace the advice of your physician or other health care provider. Neither the owners or employees of SupportGroups.com nor the author(s) of site content take responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, procedure, exercise, dietary modification, application of medication or any other action which results from reading this site. Always speak with your primary health care provider before engaging in any form of self treatment. Please see our Legal Statement for further information.